Life Coach Rejoice Takawira on How to Navigate Long Distance Relationships…

Sometimes life sets you on course to your true purpose before you even realise it, and that’s what could be said for Rejoice Takawira. A life coach and NLP practitioner, Rejoice passionately dedicates herself to those who want to embark on a journey of self-discovery and improvement, helps them stay on the right track, equips them and makes sure they stay motivated. Not only that, she also counsels people during those untimely moments in love and relationships. Rejoice is the Founder of Crown Life Coaching, a Consulting Agency which specialises in coaching relationships and team building programmes for corporates, including NGO’s and national sporting teams. The beautiful mother of three who is inspired by seeing transformation in people has the ultimate vision to see Crown Life Coaching turn into a household name where people look for fresh change and growth. Her motto…..” Wake up every morning with a personal plan to be happy. Realise that no one is coming to be happy on your behalf! You’ve got to do it yourself! Be at your best in your living years. Why?? #Because life is for living.”

With Valentines Day just around the corner, and many couples having to celebrate it apart due to the Covid 19 Travel Restrictions, we spoke to Coach Rejoice to give us the answers to our burning questions on how to navigate the tricky terrains of Long Distance Relationships and Find (and Keep) Your Happily Ever After even when you’re miles apart……

Let’s start with the BIG one.Do long distance relationships really work?

I think long distance relationships do work for some as evidenced by the many couples we see all over the world who have had to eventually relocate from one country to the next just to be closer or to tie the knot.

How common are long distance relationships, especially in this new era? What are the average statistics from your knowledge?

With the advent of technological advancement and human resource migration it has pretty much become second nature to be in a long distance love affair. A study in 2018 found that about 27percent of couples have never actually lived close to each other while a whooping 50percent had met online!

What is the most challenging thing about long distance relationships and how can one overcome it?

Issues of trust! Once you start spending sleepless nights wondering what your partner is doing or why they are online at certain times of the day; know that you are cooking up some real trouble for your heart and your partner!

For the couples who are in this type of relationship, how can they maintain a happy and satisfying relationship despite the distance?

Embrace your unique reality, your partner is far but you love them anyway, so live life and be alive. Spend more time being happy with each other…write real letters and occasionally visit each other if you can and just stop with the suspicions.

Between the two sexes, who is most open to relationship advice?

You see, the issue of openness to advice depends on the character of the person, their background and obviously past experiences and the partner one has. Certain lovers bring out a particular or unique love response in you. In my years of coaching I have noticed though that couples who naturally are unwilling to get expert advice when facing challenges normally don’t do so well in the end.

What’s your take on the portrayal of relationships in mainstream media (movies, books)?

They make them look rosy and all perfect but the reality is that couples are not kissing everyday as they portray. They are biting and kicking and scratching ..and for me that is what the colour of love is…a dollop of misunderstanding and lots of effort to make things right. I do however encourage couples to read beautiful love stories together and watch romantic movies. It is a way of bonding and spending quality time together while learning a few more tricks of how to show love to your lover.

How has technology shaped relationships. Negatively or positively?

Technology is good and has helped mankind advance even in love. A lot of rigid culturally inclined men who thought employment was only for men are seeing now that the world has changed. Women can hold big positions…even be President and still have time to be good old Jenny from the block capable of loving and being loved. Unfortunately, tech also has its downside as angry lovers can take to social media and spill all…pictures to videos and other proof of privacy making the whole relationship public and sour and exposing yourselves to ruthless public scrutiny.

What would you say are the three most important things in any relationship?

  1. Know yourself first…know what you want for you..what makes you happy?
  2. Study your partner’s colour of love..how do they understand it? How do they want to receive the love? Does it resonate with your kind of love?
  3. And finally, throw caution to the wind. enjoy yourselves..live life..don’t be wasting time spending sleepless night wondering if the lover is cheating…

We are living in a digital era, an era of ‘online dating’. What are the pros and cons for this type of dating?

Generally there is nothing wrong with dating online but take necessary precautions…One of the dangers of dating online is that you may just be dating your neighbours mum without knowing all because mum decided to troll and find out what you are up to. Or even the most wanted criminal or a simple hacker who just wants to find their way to your bank account. If in luck though…you may end up walking down the isle singing “Yeshua” to marry your online lover!!

Do you think our African society is now open to such relationships (online)?

I think they are slowly embracing the reality as we are seeing more and more unions from Europe, the Americas and everywhere else. Those relationships didn’t Mr Bean themselves from nowhere; they started online.

How best can one approach dating? Any advice you can give us?

If you want to go the “online” route be prepared for anything! Know that it may end with love and forever or with anger and bitterness. If it’s the good old traditional “meet at the coffee shop” relationship, then be honest from the very beginning! If you have a child or have a health condition let the person know. Secrets have a way of just making people end up alone ( some people are lonely but they have a loved one) Plan happy moments together love and love hard! Have no time to be too careful! When I say don’t be too careful I don’t me go around dropping your pants & having sex, that is not love…Love is just pure adventure with lots of good fun and laughter.

Valentine’s day is around the corner, and some relationships have been ‘locked down’. Any wise words for the long distance couples?

If you loved each other before valentine and before lockdown nothing should change! If anything dies it was bound to anyway. Lockdown is not necessarily causing you to think twice about your partner, it’s just showing pieces of what is already in one’s heart. If you love someone you show them love daily. Valentine is just a way of making the love a little special and that’s all..If you cannot send a gift send a beautiful letter. Let it arrive on the 14th!! Let’s get writing! #Because life is for living’

 

By: Chido Kakora

 

 

 

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