One thing I want to talk about that I know a lot of women are facing is finding their identity and standing firm in it. One struggle I know most women have is comparing themselves to other women and what they doing. I know this because I used to suffer from it myself where I constantly thought I was not good enough and felt I needed to do more when i really didn’t need to.
If those are the thoughts that run through your head, recognize them. Don’t act like they aren’t happening. It’s much easier to fight the beast (and live) if you’re willing to accept that it exists.
Most of it comes from society that we need to conform to the beliefs which leads us to comparing and constantly looking at others. It started at a young age in junior school where i would constantly associate academic achievement and fitting into a group as self worth, i was so paranoid about being liked by my classmates in school that i would often force myself to go to school even if i didn’t feel well, as i suffered from Asthma.
I forced myself because i was afraid of the fear of being “kicked out a group” This all sounds incredibly silly, but these were some of the things i was scared of at a tender age, but at the time it made perfect sense. Despite the emotional turmoil i constantly experienced, school became a symbol of familiarity.
I thought doing well in school being recognized, going to university, my life would finally have purpose and everything would then fall into place. After doing all that moving to Switzerland, at the age of 16, and being away from parents i finally thought i had made it.
But to my surprise none of that happened and it was hard adapting, i didn’t like the place, i constantly kept asking myself why I am here? Why am i studying hospitality and tourism? I hated waking up early for my 5 am shifts to prepare breakfast for the students, i could go on. But that’s when i decided that i had to create the life i love and do what makes ME happy not what my parents want or what looks good to others.
I then realised that i had spent so much of my life working toward what i thought were important life goals only to find out that they meant nothing to me. Instead of feeling a sense of pride and self worth i spent my month in fact years in Switzerland feeling down and an outsider and felt as though my life had came to an end. I started to ask myself questions who am i? What am i working towards?
I had no answers to these questions; i had nothing but negative thoughts of my identity to attach it to. The only thing that helped me was listening to my inner self, what i wanted or expected of me, through my struggles i identified that i was always working towards goals i thought other people wanted for me.
My journey to discover my identity is ongoing. I know I’m often influenced by other people’s goals and desires, so i consciously make an effort to find out what it is i really want by taking the time to listen to myself.
Here are some thoughts that you could use on this journey and hopefully may be helpful to you:
You do not have to justify your worth.
Take time to learn yourself.
Let go of expectations.
Look after yourself .
Take care you and own your destiny!
by : Rumbidzai Natasha Kuipa