The fascination associated with the white dress is so overwhelming. Every girl’s dream is the happy fairytale ending of a lovely-dotted princess walking up at the aisle to meet her Prince C harming…But wait a minute, is “I DO” at the altar enough? Dreaming of and living a fairytale are two separate issues and this commitment doesn’t have to be one-sided. Before jumping brains, effort, commitment and time all-in, Divas, ask yourself these few questions:
Does he understand my feelings?
Sometimes men overrate their male-ego and just cast a blind eye at women’s feelings. If you are in the dating phase, it’s a try-out session to see if you can cope with a guy’s attitude but if there’s no adjustment before kicking the ‘I’m still single’ bucket miles away, think carefully before committing. An ideal hubby should understand a woman’s feelings AT ALL TIMES and needs to adjust to meet her expectations: be it time-wise, making her fit-in (everywhere) and giving her the number one spot. Yes, a woman has to come first before that soccer game or those few lagers and even that bunch of noisy friends. So if your boyfriend treats you like a second-class citizen in a free world: wear the sharp-pointed heels and boot him out, fast!
Is he the flirty ‘I will never grow up’ type?
Men are different: some are born to be fabulous and all-encompassing future partners and some are always in a confused state of whether they can handle relationship demands or not. Then there’s that category of brothers who boldly define themselves as the ‘playboy gurus’ who never grow up and can’t commit to one girl. If you are dating this kinda guy, save yourself the marriage drama of going back and forth to the Pastor’s office, the in-laws, calling friends and neighbours to come to your rescue after he drags Sisi Punha into your bed whilst you’re at work. Flirty men never grow up and even if you put a band as heavy as a padlock on his finger, he won’t bring much but two big pools on that pretty face. Just get a better guy who’s willing to commit.
Will he be there to stay?
The worst nightmare is waking up just before day-break on your honeymoon and watch him jump out of the window. Here I’m not being literal of course, but the bottom line is: as a woman, the last thing you want to nail your marriage investment in is a man who’ll leave you hanging in-between love and hate. Yes, you might eventually find your feet and start all-over again with a new man but the element of trust in your heart will most probably be hanging on a thin silk thread. This final question is definitely crucial before going to Court and trading your name, ‘Will he be there to stay?’ If your confidence in him overwhelms your doubts, then he is the ONE but if you are now scratching your head over and over, it’s high time to call it quits. Better safe than sorry, Divas so until next time, keep the search for the suitably qualified “I DO” mate real!
By Miriam C.R Mushaikwa
Facebook: Miriam Rujeko Mushaikwa