Are you nearing your 30s and you’ve got no material possessions to show or add to your name? Maybe, on top of that, you’re also single with no children to somewhat make you feel like you’ve accomplished at least something in life. Instead, here you are still trying to navigate things you should have done in your early 20s.
Or perhaps, on the contrary, you may be someone who has fulfilled society’s timeline and expectations. Graduated at 24 and got married the following year. Bought yourself two properties and a car within your first few years of employment and had four bundles of joy to add to your nest. Only for you to lose everything in your mid-thirties. Including your once flourishing business. Or you could actually have all the houses and cars you need. A happily paying job. Married to the life partner of your dreams. Only challenge is your unexplained infertility and you’ve tried everything under the sun just to have another addition to your family.
You may fall into any of these scenarios or something similar and have ironically found yourself a blissful sanctuary in guilt and self-loathing knowing you have so much to live for and no will to live because you’re not living the life you thought you would live. Whichever your story is, you must remember that everyone hits a hard rock in life at some stage. Everyone has a battle or battles they are fighting that the outside world isn’t always privy to. Most of us are going through the most. Your situation is not entirely peculiar to yourself.
So go easy on yourself. Don’t pressure yourself to have a perfect life nor allow others to for that matter. Sometimes the people we compare ourselves to may not actually have it all put together. Others may have privileges that you don’t have that have set them on a seemingly advantaged life path or given them a head start.
Don’t pressure your children nor others too. Be it your family, friends, church mates, workmates, anyone really. Give each other kindness and grace. The only thing predictable about life is how unpredictable it is. You would expect the fastest person to win the race, the strongest to win the battle. The most skilled person to have the most illustrious career. The richest person to have the best things in life. But that is not always the case. Our abilities are no guarantee to success. Time and chance happen to us all.
There appears to be a randomness about human existence. You don’t always get what you deserve and outcomes happen unexpectedly and suddenly. Hence, there is no way you can prepare for victorious living where you are always guaranteed success. So go easy on yourself, do the best you can, with what you have, in the lane you were placed in. Focus on your goals and not too much on who’s next to you or behind you. Be realistic about your goals too bearing in mind which resources you have at your disposal. Run your race, not someone else’s. Be proud of how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and remember to enjoy life “while you can”, because who knows what will happen?!
By: Tapiwa Mhlanga