5 kisses we can all do without

July 4, 2017

If ever there is anything that the whole population of sexual beings agrees on – it’s that bad kisses are a nightmare for at least a 100 reasons we can think of but would rather not dwell on.


Vampire Kisses

Yeah, the type where there is a lot of rather distasteful lip sucking – keyword being distasteful. Tasteful is more on the gentle suck side. It’s a lip lock not a lip suction. If we want swollen lips, we would much rather get them from surgery than vampire kisses!


Nose and Chin kisses

What do the chin and nose have to do with good kisses? You guessed right, nothing. And there’s a reason why it’s that way. So let’s not make things any more awkward and let’s tuck our chins and noses away right where they belong.


Lip chews

The general assumption is that a gentle tug with the teeth on the lips is as sexy as Snow on a sunny day (you know the Snow in question) – which it is, until a tug becomes a chew. Uhm how about we stick to chewing food, shall we?


Extra wet kisses

Saliva is probably sexy-ish. However, we do wish a law could be passed stating the limits on the amount of saliva legal in kisses because extra is definitely extra (cue eyeroll)


Hunger Induced Kisses

We know we’re probably good enough to eat – but not literally! So there really is no need to open your mouth so wide a whole battalion of little men could fit into it. The point in kissing is for the lips to engage in a sexy dance – not for one person to swallow the other one alive.


We all love our kisses sexy with a bit of creativity –but controlled and well-structured creativity is a must so let’s not get carried away. And now that we have got that out of the way, happy liplock all!

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