Loving who you’re with

By: Tina Yvonne Michelle Chiangwa

Stuck On You
My first reaction was that of shock and disbelief. How dare he, I thought. What a mean human being! How can he be so cruel to his poor girlfriend? But then the more I thought about it, the more I actually started to feel sorry for HIM. This guy was saying his truth. He sounded stuck really.

 

 

And he got me wondering about people and relationships. I wonder how many people are in relationships and feel like this? Pining away after your ex? Or after the person that you really love but can’t be with for whatever reason. Imagine the poor girlfriend though. She most probably thinks she’s in the greatest relationship ever and yet this guy really and truly doesn’t love her. He’s just there because she is a good person and he believes she deserves to be happy (well and also because he was initially attracted to her because she reminds him of his ex).
Happily Never After
I don’t have much experience with real, deep relationships so maybe my point of view is too romanticized? But I’m thinking this is one of the ways unhappy marriages and ultimately unhappy households are created. Imagine these two get married and have kids. It may take some time but I’m sure this woman will realise this guy simply does not love her. He may do everything for her and provide for her but if he doesn’t LOVE her SHE WILL KNOW. What happens when the woman he really does love decides she wants to give it a go again? Will he remain faithful to the one he doesn’t love? Will he leave her? Will they start an affair? What if he then meets the real love of his life later and he’s now stuck with a wife he doesn’t love and a family? Will he sacrifice his happiness for them? Why not quit while he’s still ahead. Let this other girl go. Yes she’ll be hurt but she’ll get over it and move on. Better now than years and a wedding and babies down the line. Also, he says his pride (and most probably hers too) is what’s getting in the way of him getting back together with the ex. This little thing called pride is troublesome I tell you! I don’t know why they broke up with the ex but it seems to me that he wants to try again with her but won’t because pride.

Learning to Love?
The same goes for those people who get married because the woman is pregnant and are unlikely to have done so if she hadn’t gotten pregnant. Is it possible to learn to love someone because you have no choice? I think a lot of these people end up being promiscuous because they just can’t stand to go home to the person they’re “stuck” with forever. Am I romanticising relationships too much? Are most relationships like this where one party is not in it 100%? Can you really last a lifetime with someone you married just because they got pregnant but you didn’t really love them (or you are the one that got pregnant)? Can you “learn” to love someone? Can a relationship last where there is no love but one party is there because they feel sorry for the other? Why can’t people just swallowtheir pride, go forth and “seize the bae”?


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