How do you expect to be understood if people don’t know what you are thinking?

How can people understand you if you are just silent?

Communication is the glue that pastes together emotions and feelings. Unexpected, deviant and unwarranted behaviours are a result of unspoken thoughts. The heart was made to be known, even animals have a way to communicate. No relationship can stand when players involved are the masters of silence. One should know that communication is a two way gesture. For real communication to take place one has to be a good listener; if you become the chief speaker and forget to be the listener, communication dies.

Anger destroys real communication; therefore, it is advised to calm down before a confrontation to avoid violence. Note that the worst one can do is to stomach anger. Some tend to punish each other in relationships by stomaching offences. Offences and untold grievances result in broken friendships and the only way to mend brokenness is communication.  Communication is when one is allowed to speak out without interjections. People should be allowed to express their thoughts. Nothing inside a human will be hidden forever, there are ways that all stomached thoughts will surface. So why not just speak out in order to build a healthy relationship?

Some will say a problem shared is a problem half solved. Those from Christianity will tell you, ‘out of thy mind thy speaketh the mouth’, meaning it is an essential privilege that people communicate. Communication is in itself self-therapy. It is not surprising to say communication; I mean two-way communication reduces chances of getting stress related diseases.

Marginalised groups should always voice their thoughts and not allow some people to come and speak on their behalf. It is not a curse to be different or to see things differently. In a relationship it is important to avoid agreeing for the sake of agreeing. Let your “no” mean no and “yes” mean yes. Do not allow people to read between the lines. Be explicit when you communicate, do not send wrong signals. Let people decode what you say otherwise you will harm your relationship with such communication styles. It is allowed to say out your mind despite it being way far from everyone else’s. When two people think alike they are actually not thinking. It is immoral for people to just nod for approval for the sake of family, church or political orientation because reality of their thoughts will be seen in their behaviour.

Everyone should remember to be both the speaker and the listener. Do not expect people to listen to you if you do not listen. Do not assume other people know and think the way you think hence you expect them to act in a certain way. Take charge of your thoughts and make them known even to God. For those who pray God wants you to tell him your thoughts. It only takes real communication to mend broken relationships, to explain unfulfilled promises, to close unwanted openings in a relationship and to just make life worth living.

By Regina Tambwari


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